He was one ofRochester, New York’s greatest athletes in the 1950s. When I was sixteen years
old and in my physical prime, and he was in his 40’s, he beat me in the 40-yard
dash like I was standing still. He could have played for anybody. The Cubs
wanted to talk to him. The Yankees would have if he’d been interested.
Instead he took a job at the local tool and die to be close to
his aging parents. It’s a good thing too; otherwise he never would have met my
mother. Family came first.
his aging parents. It’s a good thing too; otherwise he never would have met my
mother. Family came first.
His generation of fathers hadn’t heard of “quality time,” but
the idea would not have impressed him. He never contented himself with just
fitting his kids into his schedule when it was convenient. He knew that being
there for “crummy time” is what counts: the phone call at 3 a.m. from a stranded
child needing a ride home; the sobs of a son failing to make friends at a new
school; the cries of an infant child whose fever will not break.
the idea would not have impressed him. He never contented himself with just
fitting his kids into his schedule when it was convenient. He knew that being
there for “crummy time” is what counts: the phone call at 3 a.m. from a stranded
child needing a ride home; the sobs of a son failing to make friends at a new
school; the cries of an infant child whose fever will not break.
My father and I were at daggers’ ends during my teen years. It
was the usual stuff: I thought I knew everything, and he thought that yelling
at me would bring me to my senses. Yet he was always there. I had my sights set
on becoming a boxing champion from the age of twelve. When I was fifteen, I had
a preliminary match against a much stronger fighter who I was going to have to
fight again a few days later. I lost that first match — badly. That night, Dad
found me retching in the bathroom, devastated. He said, “I know tonight was
rough, but you have a chance to redeem yourself this weekend. You’ve worked too
hard. Don’t you dare throw away three years like this.” He gave me the courage
to go back for the rematch and win. It is one of my most cherished memories of
my father.
was the usual stuff: I thought I knew everything, and he thought that yelling
at me would bring me to my senses. Yet he was always there. I had my sights set
on becoming a boxing champion from the age of twelve. When I was fifteen, I had
a preliminary match against a much stronger fighter who I was going to have to
fight again a few days later. I lost that first match — badly. That night, Dad
found me retching in the bathroom, devastated. He said, “I know tonight was
rough, but you have a chance to redeem yourself this weekend. You’ve worked too
hard. Don’t you dare throw away three years like this.” He gave me the courage
to go back for the rematch and win. It is one of my most cherished memories of
my father.
We always worried about his health, his smoking. I once thought
that “cigarette loads” might help him quit. For the uninitiated, a cigarette
load is a splinter of wood caked in gunpowder that you slip into a cigarette or
cigar. I forgot about the load I packed into his kitchen-drawer stash of
smokes. A couple of weeks later, as I watched cartoons nearby, he stumbled into
the kitchen early one Saturday morning, lit up a cigarette, and “bang!” — the
load worked as promised. He shouted, “Rick! That’s not funny,” and then
chuckled for several minutes while lighting up another one.
that “cigarette loads” might help him quit. For the uninitiated, a cigarette
load is a splinter of wood caked in gunpowder that you slip into a cigarette or
cigar. I forgot about the load I packed into his kitchen-drawer stash of
smokes. A couple of weeks later, as I watched cartoons nearby, he stumbled into
the kitchen early one Saturday morning, lit up a cigarette, and “bang!” — the
load worked as promised. He shouted, “Rick! That’s not funny,” and then
chuckled for several minutes while lighting up another one.
After a rough day watching doctors work to revive him when his
health finally failed, I said to my mother in frustration, “He treated his body
like a rented mule.” She responded, “That mule carried us all.” And carry he
did. In the middle of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, he
made the commitment to send his children to Catholic high schools. He supported
his father until the end. He sacrificed driving fancy cars so that his wife
could stay home and raise his children. Those same children never knew what it
was like to write a college tuition check.
health finally failed, I said to my mother in frustration, “He treated his body
like a rented mule.” She responded, “That mule carried us all.” And carry he
did. In the middle of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, he
made the commitment to send his children to Catholic high schools. He supported
his father until the end. He sacrificed driving fancy cars so that his wife
could stay home and raise his children. Those same children never knew what it
was like to write a college tuition check.
If you are a father, the most haunting passage in all of
Scripture must be at the end of John’s Gospel. Our risen Lord has just
conferred primacy to Peter over the Apostles by the Sea of Tiberias. Christ
asks him three times, “Do you love Me?” An exasperated Peter tells Him, “You
know I love you.” Christ responds, “Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were
young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old,
you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where
you do not wish to go.” Love demands sacrifice. In an age that tells us to
assert our own identities and to get our share, my father knew that a life
lived well requires more.
Scripture must be at the end of John’s Gospel. Our risen Lord has just
conferred primacy to Peter over the Apostles by the Sea of Tiberias. Christ
asks him three times, “Do you love Me?” An exasperated Peter tells Him, “You
know I love you.” Christ responds, “Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were
young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old,
you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where
you do not wish to go.” Love demands sacrifice. In an age that tells us to
assert our own identities and to get our share, my father knew that a life
lived well requires more.
Rich Leonardi,
publisher of the blogs “Ten Reasons” and “Over
the Rhine and into the Tiber” He grew up in his father’s house in Rochester, New York, and currently
lives with his wife and five children in Cincinnati, Ohio. His story
originally appeared in Amazing
Grace for Fathers . (Great gift for
Father’s Day, coming up.)
publisher of the blogs “Ten Reasons” and “Over
the Rhine and into the Tiber” He grew up in his father’s house in Rochester, New York, and currently
lives with his wife and five children in Cincinnati, Ohio. His story
originally appeared in Amazing
Grace for Fathers . (Great gift for
Father’s Day, coming up.)
