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| Jean Gaunt |
“Look at this,”
Jean Gaunt said, showing the Sunday newspaper to her husband, Tom. Their hometown paper, the Indianapolis Star, featured a story
about nine siblings who were available for adoption. It was Mother’s Day 1999, and the irony of
the date did not escape Jean.
“I
had not thought about adopting for quite a while, until I saw the article,”
says Jean. “One of the little girls,
Samantha, was seven at the time and she looked quite a bit like I did at that
age. It really tugged on my
heartstrings, especially since it was Mother’s Day.” Jean says that she rarely reads the newspaper
and she just happened to read it on that day.
If she hadn’t seen the article, she never would have known about the
kids.
had not thought about adopting for quite a while, until I saw the article,”
says Jean. “One of the little girls,
Samantha, was seven at the time and she looked quite a bit like I did at that
age. It really tugged on my
heartstrings, especially since it was Mother’s Day.” Jean says that she rarely reads the newspaper
and she just happened to read it on that day.
If she hadn’t seen the article, she never would have known about the
kids.
When
Tom read the article, he immediately began thinking about the kind of parents
it would take to raise these kids. It
needed to be an older, mature couple with a good married relationship. There couldn’t be any other children in the
home because the needs of these nine would overrun the needs of any other
kids. “Who do I know like that?” Tom had
wondered out loud. It seemed like no
one, but the quesiton just kept coming back to them.
Tom read the article, he immediately began thinking about the kind of parents
it would take to raise these kids. It
needed to be an older, mature couple with a good married relationship. There couldn’t be any other children in the
home because the needs of these nine would overrun the needs of any other
kids. “Who do I know like that?” Tom had
wondered out loud. It seemed like no
one, but the quesiton just kept coming back to them.
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| Tom & Jean Gaunt and adopted family |
Tom and
Jean Gaunt already had six children, four of them were their biological
children and two of them were adopted on previous occasions. Their older children were grown and out of
the house. They had been empty nesters for
the past three years. Jean had always
dreamed of owning a bed and breakfast and nine months before, they had finally
purchased their dream home. Jean dreamed
of their bed and breakfast, but God had other plans for their new home.
Jean Gaunt already had six children, four of them were their biological
children and two of them were adopted on previous occasions. Their older children were grown and out of
the house. They had been empty nesters for
the past three years. Jean had always
dreamed of owning a bed and breakfast and nine months before, they had finally
purchased their dream home. Jean dreamed
of their bed and breakfast, but God had other plans for their new home.
A
few weeks later, while Tom and Jean were still considering the adoption, they
attended a Billy Graham seminar. “Billy
Graham pointed out to us in the audience and talked about how people have to
get out of their comfort zones and make a difference in their communities. We left that night convinced that this was
something God wanted us to do,” says Tom.
few weeks later, while Tom and Jean were still considering the adoption, they
attended a Billy Graham seminar. “Billy
Graham pointed out to us in the audience and talked about how people have to
get out of their comfort zones and make a difference in their communities. We left that night convinced that this was
something God wanted us to do,” says Tom.
They
had been the victims of almost unimaginable abuse at the hands of their
stepfather, and they desperately needed a fresh start with a loving family.
had been the victims of almost unimaginable abuse at the hands of their
stepfather, and they desperately needed a fresh start with a loving family.
These nine siblings ranged
in age from 18 months to 15 years.
The
Gaunts decided to become that family.
Gaunts decided to become that family.
Tom and
Jean knew they were taking on a challenge.
Nine kids would be tough for anyone, but these nine children were going to be especially challenging.
Jean knew they were taking on a challenge.
Nine kids would be tough for anyone, but these nine children were going to be especially challenging.
Several ofthe children have special needs, including autism and other developmental
delays. Many of the kids suffer from
Reactive Attachment Disorder, an emotional result of the abuse they
endured. This disorder makes it
difficult for the children to trust others and make emotional attachments.
At
the time Tom and Jean adopted them, the children were still mourning the loss
of their tenth sibling, a brother named Kyle.
Kyle, who was 12 at the time of his death, had always promised his
brothers and sisters that he would find a way to help them escape their life of
abuse, and through his death, he fulfilled that promise. When Kyle’s body was found on the banks of
the White River, the children were immediately removed from their home and
placed in foster care. The media picked
up the story and Tom and Jean learned of the children’s plight. Tom and Jean feel that they actually adopted
ten children, rather than nine, and in their hearts, Kyle is their son as
well. The family added the last name
“Gaunt” to Kyle’s headstone, and they take the children to his gravesite often.
the time Tom and Jean adopted them, the children were still mourning the loss
of their tenth sibling, a brother named Kyle.
Kyle, who was 12 at the time of his death, had always promised his
brothers and sisters that he would find a way to help them escape their life of
abuse, and through his death, he fulfilled that promise. When Kyle’s body was found on the banks of
the White River, the children were immediately removed from their home and
placed in foster care. The media picked
up the story and Tom and Jean learned of the children’s plight. Tom and Jean feel that they actually adopted
ten children, rather than nine, and in their hearts, Kyle is their son as
well. The family added the last name
“Gaunt” to Kyle’s headstone, and they take the children to his gravesite often.
It took the
children several years to trust Tom and Jean.
Jean says that for years the children would ask her if they were going
to eat dinner that night. Not what they would eat, but if they would eat.
children several years to trust Tom and Jean.
Jean says that for years the children would ask her if they were going
to eat dinner that night. Not what they would eat, but if they would eat.
“We’ve had
lots of therapy,” says Tom. “At first,
all Jean did was transport the kids to and from therapy. In the beginning, we spent 30 hours a week,
but after about three years, it dropped off.”
They are down to only weekly sessions now so the family takes karate as
a way to spend time together.
lots of therapy,” says Tom. “At first,
all Jean did was transport the kids to and from therapy. In the beginning, we spent 30 hours a week,
but after about three years, it dropped off.”
They are down to only weekly sessions now so the family takes karate as
a way to spend time together.
Tom and
Jean’s message is one of permanency.
Children must have a safe, permanent place to grow up. “Our world, our society is no better than the
children we raise into it,” says Tom.
“Every time a child is moved, it creates another shell, another layer of
padding that has to be broken through.
There is more emotional damage, more distrust.”
Jean’s message is one of permanency.
Children must have a safe, permanent place to grow up. “Our world, our society is no better than the
children we raise into it,” says Tom.
“Every time a child is moved, it creates another shell, another layer of
padding that has to be broken through.
There is more emotional damage, more distrust.”
“When a
child is removed from their birth home, they are unplugged. They lose everything, their home, their
school, their family, their toys and clothes, and their pets. They are completely unplugged,” says
Tom. “Then they are brought into another
family. Really the job of the adoptive
family is to rebuild those connections.”
child is removed from their birth home, they are unplugged. They lose everything, their home, their
school, their family, their toys and clothes, and their pets. They are completely unplugged,” says
Tom. “Then they are brought into another
family. Really the job of the adoptive
family is to rebuild those connections.”
Jean goes
on to say, “These kids must have adults that they can count on to be
there. Merely surviving is not
enough. Kids need a place to
thrive.”
on to say, “These kids must have adults that they can count on to be
there. Merely surviving is not
enough. Kids need a place to
thrive.”
And thrive
these children have. The oldest
daughter, Stephanie, recently graduated from high school. She was the first one in her family to
accomplish that. She is now taking
college courses at a nearby university.
The younger children are doing well in school.
these children have. The oldest
daughter, Stephanie, recently graduated from high school. She was the first one in her family to
accomplish that. She is now taking
college courses at a nearby university.
The younger children are doing well in school.
The Gaunts
admit that there are days when they wonder if they did the right thing.
admit that there are days when they wonder if they did the right thing.
“Your commitment overrides your
feelings on those days,” says Jean. “For
every day that I question what I did, there are a million days when I know
exactly why I did it,” Tom adds.
feelings on those days,” says Jean. “For
every day that I question what I did, there are a million days when I know
exactly why I did it,” Tom adds.
Right now,
there are nearly half a million children in our nation who are waiting to be
adopted. Jean likens what she and Tom
have done to the story about the man who is throwing a beached starfish back
into the ocean. When someone tells him
that he’ll never reach all of them, he throws back another starfish and
answers, “But it makes a huge difference to that one.” Tom and Jean know that they have made a
difference in the lives of these nine children.
there are nearly half a million children in our nation who are waiting to be
adopted. Jean likens what she and Tom
have done to the story about the man who is throwing a beached starfish back
into the ocean. When someone tells him
that he’ll never reach all of them, he throws back another starfish and
answers, “But it makes a huge difference to that one.” Tom and Jean know that they have made a
difference in the lives of these nine children.
Tom and
Jean speak to church groups through their adoption ministry. They travel to various churches, show their
son’s film and tell their story. They
counsel other families who have adopted or are considering it.
Jean speak to church groups through their adoption ministry. They travel to various churches, show their
son’s film and tell their story. They
counsel other families who have adopted or are considering it.
“As a
country, and as people, we’ve got to commit to our children,” insists Jean.
“God gives children to people in different ways. We’re just ordinary people who decided to
act.”
country, and as people, we’ve got to commit to our children,” insists Jean.
“God gives children to people in different ways. We’re just ordinary people who decided to
act.”
“We’ve got
some home-made children and some hand picked children,” say the Gaunts, and
they wouldn’t have it any other way.
some home-made children and some hand picked children,” say the Gaunts, and
they wouldn’t have it any other way.
________________________________________
Diane Sonntag is an
elementary school teacher and freelance writer in Indiana. She has
written for a variety of print and online publications. . The Gaunts’ oldest biological son made an award winning documentary based
on the adoption called “A Place Called Home: An Adoption Story.” The film
was on PBS in January 2006. For more information about the film, visit www.aplacecalledhome.info.
elementary school teacher and freelance writer in Indiana. She has
written for a variety of print and online publications. . The Gaunts’ oldest biological son made an award winning documentary based
on the adoption called “A Place Called Home: An Adoption Story.” The film
was on PBS in January 2006. For more information about the film, visit www.aplacecalledhome.info.
This story is reprinted from Amazing Grace for Families (Ascension Press). For more inspiration, check out Big Hearted: Inspiring Stories From Everyday Families. Your children will laugh while learning big spiritual lessons with Dear God, I Don’t Get It! and Dear God, You Can’t Be Serious.
