We have all done
it–said too much or said the wrong thing and regretted it later. Too often, opening our mouths releases
gossip, complaints, or destructive words.
Our tongue is a concealed weapon—the most lethal. “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the
soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matt 10:28).
A gun or knife can wound the body, but inflicts no damage on the soul,
yet the tongue can mortally wound it.
it–said too much or said the wrong thing and regretted it later. Too often, opening our mouths releases
gossip, complaints, or destructive words.
Our tongue is a concealed weapon—the most lethal. “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the
soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matt 10:28).
A gun or knife can wound the body, but inflicts no damage on the soul,
yet the tongue can mortally wound it.
In theory, it
would seem easy to control our tongue. It’s small and even can be kept locked
up simply by shutting our mouths. Yet,
for something that weighs so little, it so often weighs us down in sin.
would seem easy to control our tongue. It’s small and even can be kept locked
up simply by shutting our mouths. Yet,
for something that weighs so little, it so often weighs us down in sin.
Talking is one ofthose things that we should quit while we are ahead. “In a multitude of words,
sin is not lacking” (Proverbs 10:19). I
am often guilty of this so I am not pointing fingers. I think women are
especially vulnerable because we tend to be sociable and innately talk more
than men—not that men can’t also wag a mean tongue.
Our tongues often seem
to have a mind of their own and before we know it, we’ve blurted out too much
information or something better left unsaid. Sometimes we mask gossip as
concern—I’m really worried about her….
or excuse it as a need to vent or confide in someone. In reality, speaking poorly of someone disrespects their human dignity.
to have a mind of their own and before we know it, we’ve blurted out too much
information or something better left unsaid. Sometimes we mask gossip as
concern—I’m really worried about her….
or excuse it as a need to vent or confide in someone. In reality, speaking poorly of someone disrespects their human dignity.
And
yet, in the confessional, we need to acknowledge that we have sinned. I’ve heard some people say that as long as
it’s true, it’s not really gossip. Or others know about it anyways, so it’s
okay to repeat. But God reads what is in our hearts. If we do not have a valid reason
to let someone know about something—information that they need to know to
prevent a problem—then spreading scandal or reporting on bad behavior is simply
not our God-given task. For me, I use
the standard that if I won’t say it in front of the person or want them to know
I said it, then I should not say it at all. Or, consider if you would mind if someone was speaking the same way about you, would you mind?
yet, in the confessional, we need to acknowledge that we have sinned. I’ve heard some people say that as long as
it’s true, it’s not really gossip. Or others know about it anyways, so it’s
okay to repeat. But God reads what is in our hearts. If we do not have a valid reason
to let someone know about something—information that they need to know to
prevent a problem—then spreading scandal or reporting on bad behavior is simply
not our God-given task. For me, I use
the standard that if I won’t say it in front of the person or want them to know
I said it, then I should not say it at all. Or, consider if you would mind if someone was speaking the same way about you, would you mind?
The Power of Words
Here
are some common ways that our words get us into trouble.
are some common ways that our words get us into trouble.
* Detraction –
repeating something true without a good reason (Sirach 21).
repeating something true without a good reason (Sirach 21).
* Racial jokes that encourage
hatred or sexual jokes which use impurity for entertainment (Ephesians 5:3-4).
hatred or sexual jokes which use impurity for entertainment (Ephesians 5:3-4).
*Calumny – talking
about someone’s faults. “Do not judge, and you will
not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned…” (Luke 6:37).
about someone’s faults. “Do not judge, and you will
not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned…” (Luke 6:37).
*Sarcasm–a way to put others down and disguise it as humor.
*Arguing –
speaking nasty or using biting remarks
speaking nasty or using biting remarks
*Criticizing –constant
complaining and scolding to vent rather than desire to help another out of
love. (Proverbs 21:9).
complaining and scolding to vent rather than desire to help another out of
love. (Proverbs 21:9).
*Breaking
confidences – “Don’t tell anyone else, but…..”
(Proverbs 11:13)
confidences – “Don’t tell anyone else, but…..”
(Proverbs 11:13)
* Listening to the words of others
can be wrong. “An evildoer listens to wicked lips; a liar pays attention to a
destructive tongue” (Proverbs 17:4).
can be wrong. “An evildoer listens to wicked lips; a liar pays attention to a
destructive tongue” (Proverbs 17:4).
God gave us the gift of
speech. We use it to praise and glorify him. Our words can evangelize and lift
others up in spirit. But talking can also be a waste of time, empty, frivolous,
and gossipy. It can take time away from
our family, prayer or tasks we should be tending to.
speech. We use it to praise and glorify him. Our words can evangelize and lift
others up in spirit. But talking can also be a waste of time, empty, frivolous,
and gossipy. It can take time away from
our family, prayer or tasks we should be tending to.
Instead of talking
to God, we often seek comfort through venting and say things against people
that should be left unspoken. And once
it’s out of our mouth, even trying to take it back does not completely undo bad
impressions of those we’ve spoken about and how it reflects on our own
character. Through our excessive talking we are also often on the receiving end
of listening to gossip and the business of others.
to God, we often seek comfort through venting and say things against people
that should be left unspoken. And once
it’s out of our mouth, even trying to take it back does not completely undo bad
impressions of those we’ve spoken about and how it reflects on our own
character. Through our excessive talking we are also often on the receiving end
of listening to gossip and the business of others.
Like any addiction—and talking is an
addiction—it’s a day-by-day, ongoing task not to overindulge. For many, the first
step is to recognize the times we let words lead to sin. This might mean asking
God to reveal these times and asking him to help us use our speech
appropriately. Many years ago, I had to confront one of the ways I was working to help support our family. I was writing articles for “The National Enquirer”–a tabloid newspaper that thrives on gossip and detraction. As I grew deeper in my faith and sought to live consistent with Catholic teachings, I decided to walk away from the money to save my soul. In God’s Divine Providence, a better job fell into my lap.
addiction—it’s a day-by-day, ongoing task not to overindulge. For many, the first
step is to recognize the times we let words lead to sin. This might mean asking
God to reveal these times and asking him to help us use our speech
appropriately. Many years ago, I had to confront one of the ways I was working to help support our family. I was writing articles for “The National Enquirer”–a tabloid newspaper that thrives on gossip and detraction. As I grew deeper in my faith and sought to live consistent with Catholic teachings, I decided to walk away from the money to save my soul. In God’s Divine Providence, a better job fell into my lap.
Another way to stop misusing our speech is to
avoid situations that often lead to gossip. Going out for coffee, talking on
the phone too long, and other socializing occasions might be the times we are
most guilty of using our tongue as a weapon. Avoid these situations altogether or cut them
short. If those around us begin to gossip, counteract by saying something positive
or laying it on the line: “I’m really
trying to stay away from gossip,” then change the subject.
avoid situations that often lead to gossip. Going out for coffee, talking on
the phone too long, and other socializing occasions might be the times we are
most guilty of using our tongue as a weapon. Avoid these situations altogether or cut them
short. If those around us begin to gossip, counteract by saying something positive
or laying it on the line: “I’m really
trying to stay away from gossip,” then change the subject.
We can also pray for the gift of silence to St. Raymond Nonnatus a
patron saint against gossip and sins of
the tongue. He was a priest in Spain during the Eleventh Century. When Saint Raymond gave himself in ransom for
prisoners in Algiers, his lips were pierced with a red-hot iron and closed with
a padlock to prevent him from preaching Christ.
patron saint against gossip and sins of
the tongue. He was a priest in Spain during the Eleventh Century. When Saint Raymond gave himself in ransom for
prisoners in Algiers, his lips were pierced with a red-hot iron and closed with
a padlock to prevent him from preaching Christ.
Through confession, our sins of the tongue will be absolved and we will receive
graces to avoid them in the future. If additional incentive is needed, here is thought
to keep in mind: It is better to remain
silent and let people think you are dumb than to open your mouth and remove all
doubt.
###
Excellent article.
Here is a game-changing command for the tongue and other faculties when anger is involved — coupled with the method of accomplishing it:
"Be angry, but sin not; commune with your own hearts on your beds, and be silent." (Psalm 4:4)
Of course, God's grace provides the humility, fortitude, wisdom and love required to implement it.
Thanks, Tom. I agree that we need all those things to keep silent when we should.
Agreed.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church also has a wonderful section on these sins and includes sarcasm (CCC calls it irony). Sarcasm is a hostile weapon designed to injure another. Everywhere on television, the internet and leaking out into daily life people think sarcasm is funny or use it as a put-down weapon. Everyone is encouraged to drop these habits that can sink the soul into an eternal state of punishment.
You are so right, Trinity. It can be used in humor, but should never be used at someone's expense, as a put down. I won't say I'm not ever guilty of this, but I know it's important to work against it.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, this sounds like my examination of conscience before confession! Thank you for a post so true it hurts!
You and me both, Leticia. As a Catholic writer yourself, you know we often indict ourselves when we hold lifestyles up to Catholic teaching.